| Pel'Meni |
[Apr. 28th, 2007|01:47 pm] |
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Pel'Meni is so good and everyone should go there. |
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| I made yogurt. |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|09:38 pm] |
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I made the yogurt in a milk bottle in the fridge. I made the yogurt on accident but the yogurt won't go away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2006|07:23 pm] |
Hello Livejournal! Here is something that actually happened!
[Dah orders a pizza for takeout.]
L.B.: How long is the thing supposed to take?
Dah: Pizza! I mean, Thursday! I mean, twenty!! |
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| The Most Retarded Dream Ever |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|12:30 pm] |
Last night I dreamed that we (Damiana and I, i think) dipped a basketball in maple syrup and tried to eat it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|11:44 pm] |
This is from a couple of days ago, but I figured it was worth sharing.
In one dream:
- Somebody shaved my head, and shaved my beard and sideburns completely off (again!)
- I lost a tooth and didn't want to tell my dad, who was a dentist, for fear that the root was gone and he would be unable to reattach it
- I had a job in which I was to catch fly balls on the upper deck of a baseball stadium with an oversized glove and thow them back onto the field, and...
- There was an energy drink named Holy Fuck.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|02:38 pm] |
Twenty-seven bucks in the back pocket
Of jeans I haven't worn in two weeks
I'ma take this cash and rock it
Gonna buy some hot dogs and some mini wheats
I'm so rich I just can't believe it
This is the best thing that ever happened to me
This is so awesome man this rocks shit
I basically just got twenty seven bucks for freeeeeeee
freee-eee-eee-eee-ee-ee-eeeeeeeeeee
Baby twenty seven freeeeeeeeeeeee bu-hu-ucks
Our lives are gonna rule from this point onnnnnnnn |
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| dream within a dream: |
[Aug. 12th, 2006|01:49 pm] |
Something about a spaceship! Dah was there. We were bringing something somewhere to someone. I remember explaining this to Damiana in my dream. Then Sara came and sang entirely too loudly about a chicken or something, but that was in real life. Sara really did that. |
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| Lovesong |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|02:32 pm] |
Oh Darlin', Darlin', come marry me
We'll build a house on the moon and make some moon cheese
And all our friends can visit us
on our space shuttle bus
And we will hire them to milk moon cows on the moon
Oh I can't say how much I love you
So let's sit our families down in wedding pews
And our pastor will be from space
And he'll subjugate the human race
But it's okay 'cause we'll be safe on the moon
Oh you'll be so glad you're on the moon with me
And all our moon-cheese factory workers will be so happy
And we will pay them really well too
'Cause we'll have moon-cheese money up the wazoo
And also everyone gets free healthcare on the moon
Yeah darlin' everyone gets free healthcare on the moon |
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| Mango, the ugly dog |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|02:20 am] |
Oh Maaaaaaaaaango, The ugly dog
He's the ugliest dog in the whole wide world
He's smelllllllllly, and he likes to scratch
And he likes to lick between his legs
I like to take him on walks around the town
But everyone hates when I do 'cause he's the ugliest dog there ever was
He cheers me up when I am feeling down
And then he smells bad and he humps my leg and I hope he leaves soon because he smells like buuuuuuuuuutt
Oh Mango
Maaaango
Oh Mango the ugly dog |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|02:48 pm] |
Last night I dreamed a similar dream to real life! I was looking for a queen bed on craigslist, only the room I was trying to fit it into was being shared between Kyle and Beth as well as Damianamama and me. Also, we were watching something on a tiny, like 10" TV, and some woman who was like the costume designer for Spiderman 3 or something was trying to look at my balls.
Pretty much just like real life! |
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| You Belong At The Zoo |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|02:56 am] |
It's easy to get a sunburn
Walking around on a sunny day
So make sure to bring some sunscreen
For lookin' at animals in a comfortable way
'Cause you belong at the zoo
Remember to take your camera
Bring a pic-a-nic too
But stay behind the fence
That seperates the habitats from youuuuuuu 'caaaaause
Man you belong at the zoo
We should all go to the zoo
I will take you to the zoo
Yeah let's all go to the zoo
'Cause the zoo's the only place i wanna be anymore
My friends tell me 'bout stuff they like to do
But i say fuck it let's go to the zoo
A donkey man is called a jack
And his girlfriend is a jenny
Their baby donkey's called a foal
As good a name as any!
And they all chill out at the zoo
The cob and pen are kinds of swam
A boy duck's called a drake
A gosling's dad is called a gander
And they all swim in a lake!
And you can see them at the zoo
A black bear's home is in the woods
The deer's and rabbit's too
A dolphin's home is in the sea
But we can find them in the zoo
Yeah let's all go to the zoo
'Cause the zoo's the only place i wanna be anymore
My friends tell me 'bout stuff they like to do
But i say fuck it let's go to the zoo
Yeah motherfuck it i'll be at the zoo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2006|03:01 pm] |
Last night's dream was about Elvis's younger brother. It turns out Elvis got bored and lonely at the height of his success, so he took his younger brother, had him dress up in all the ridiculous stuff, took him out on tour and had him live like a rock star. The younger brother had to try not to let this go to his head while balancing a life on the road with his normal-guy responsibilities (school/job etc.)
This sounds so much like a hoaky movie that it was in trailer format in my dream. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2006|02:59 pm] |
Livejournal, I just had the greatest dream. I was just hanging out with this girl, and she was so sweet and funny and smart and fucking good looking. And she was even interested in me, and she laughed at all my jokes and ahhhhh she was just so perfect. Livejournal, I wish I knew a girl like that in real life.
OH, WAIT. |
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| Preface of my new serial book, entitled "This Will Never Get Finished, Ever" |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|10:14 pm] |
I never knew my parents. For a kid like me, for where I'm from, that's not an uncommon thing to say. But for me, I never saw them, never saw anyone like them. I've been robbed not only of family, but of ethnicity, of social context with which to construct my life. I've been robbed of identity, and I've had to make a new one.
My name is Lloyd Henry Cassell. And I am a convert to ethnic Judaism.
Well.. not that Ethnic Judaism is a real thing. I'm playing this by ear, here. But where else can you find a group of people-- a currently existing group of people-- so completely robbed of their culture as they are, and as I have been? A sparse smattering, across the globe, of people unified not by country, nor by race, nor by political beliefs or good fortune or even any real common interest, who have nevertheless strained so hard against the will of the planet to stay true to themselves, and true to each other? Most Jews you meet today don't practice any actual form of religion, which is the only thing they had in common in the first place. They have nothing tying them to each other. And yet, they forge those missing bonds themselves, weaving themselves into an ever-more-tenuous web connecting them to each other. Strengthening it. They grasp something ethereal, invisible, and yet substantial. Something to hold onto. Something to be proud of.
The decision was easy for me. I am a Jew, because I am also a Tinysaur.
My kind have not existed for millions of years. Even when they did, they were not the stars of their time; they were hardly even a footnote. We were not the smartest, the most successful, the most cunning or devious or fast or vicious. We were not the most agile, or the most adaptable. We were just the tiniest.
This is the culture I have inherited, no matter how long dead: I am a dinosaur. But I am the weakest, least terrifying, cutest dinosaur in all of existence, in all of history. And I am the last of my kind. I needed some strength; I needed some pride. I needed to be able to call people I don't like schmucks. Judaism gave me that. Even if I don't go to Temple.
The earliest memory I have is this. A part of the team that created me, that cloned my egg and hatched it and turned it with tweezers, was holding me in the palm of his hand. He was using a Q-Tip to tickly my belly. I am a fucking carnivore, I eat the raw meat of my dead prey. And I was being tickled. And because I was young, I thought that I could stop the humiliation through violence. So I clamped down on the Q-Tip and I didn't let go. The prick that tickled me lowered the thing, with me dangling from it, back into the cage they had set up to hold me. I should have gone for his fucking finger.
There've only been a couple of fossil records found of the Tinysaur. One of them was discovered, partially digested, inside a Tyranosaurus's stomach. Since a Tinysaur would be far too small to be hunted by a T-Rex as nourishment, some scientists have offered up another explanation for the bizarre find. Their take is that the mighty Tyranosaurus ate the Tinysaur, not to feed herself, but because she was ashamed to be related to it.
This is my life. I hope you enjoy reading it. |
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| dreams again |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|01:11 pm] |
Last night's dream: I was in Russia, where the locals were pissed because there were no cars left after the government took them (I guess this was USSR-era Russia.) I was on a tour group with a Scottish woman, to whom I spoke in a brogue which seemed to convince her (she never said anything so I can only assume.) We went into a cafe which had a regular entrance and a french entrance. My camera got some water under the lens and the viewfinder got all swimmy! Pretty crazy stuff. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|01:47 pm] |
More of a Run Lola Run dream last night! exciting, frightening, eventful. Damiana and I were running back to where we lived-- which I think was supposed to be WWU but was more like a giant castle? And it took like an entire day to get back there.
My least favorite adventure: a huge escalator down a huge hill, big enough that you could look down on the tallest trees and just see tiny dots; big enough that there was an actual dogfight going on BELOW us, and one plane got shot down and I was scared to death that it would hit the escalator. It had a section where the escalator had another escalator on it, so we were going double-fast. It had a section with turns. This part of the dream lasted probably 20 minutes (dream time) and I could feel the icy hand of death tightening around my throat the entire time.
Lindsay Watanabe made a cameo as a med student who helped us get through a hospital. Also, I was afraid of her, but who knows why? I don't think I have talked to Lindsay once since the 7th grade. If she googles her own name and finds this, I am sure she will think, "Who the fuck is this?" Hi Lindsay! Don't worry, I'm not creepy, and I don't have dreams with you in them usually.
Last thing I remember: almost running through a street that the police had cordoned off, but I was running so fast I didn't notice it. A diligent officer pulled a gun on me, at which point I put my hands in the air, stepped back, and said, "Whoa, whoa." In real life, I probably would have just peed. In any case, the guy put down his gun and told me another way to get where I was going. Thanks, Cop! Now that's how I like seeing my tax dollars spent!
When we finally got where we were going, I figured out why we were there: Damiana wanted to purchase something from the student store (don't remember what) and then I politely told her that I already had one at home.
Problem solved! Dream over! |
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| Dreams again! |
[Jun. 20th, 2006|12:00 pm] |
Two pretty god damned bad dreams last night! Okay the first one was more annoying than bad, but the second one was sad as hell.
In the first dream, I was back in high school, and we had an English (or something) teacher who was pretty cool. I was feeling really sick though (good to know that feeling crappy carries over to my dreams. That way I get no respite whatsoever.) And after English I had gym class. BUT GUESS WHO TAUGHT GYM. Those of you who guessed Jack Black are both right and disturbingly inside my head. And Jack Black is a total dick as it turns out. He wouldn't let me go home when I was sick, and he set fire to my house. (Then he didn't believe me when I told him about the fire and I had to put it out myself.) He also kept telling me crappy jokes about how I should tough it out or whatever, and I think in a way he was right and I just wanted to skip a little school, but so what? I already graduated, Jack Black. I don't need this again.
After I went home (stormed out after dropping the f-bomb a couple of times) I put on dress pants and shirt and a tie for no reason, and went on a walk. A girl riding a bicycle came up to me and played me a song using ANOTHER sweet-ass instrument I invented in my dreams. It was two hollow cylinders she held in her hands, which she kind of flung really hard down toward the ground, but kept a grip on. Depending how hard her grip was, the cylinders would slide a different amount through her hands, and play a different pitch. She had sweet harmonies going and everything. This is probably the hardest instrument ever to play. She let me try it and it was ridiculous. She told me she was going to Fry's to buy a $1.00 CD and asked if I would like to come, so I said okay, but that I had to go home and get my wallet and I would meet her later. I came back and found Garran, lying awake but prostrate, on the floor of my guest bedroom. I spent the rest of the dream complaining with him that, while I was happy to have a new friend, it is never clear to me what a girl I am hanging out with expects of me in a one-on-one situation. Years ago a girl I thought was just trying to be friends asked me out on a date, and since then I have had a totally rational fear that every girl who meets me wants to jump my bones. So I try to mention my girlfriend in conversation. Garran did not look interested. DREAM OVER.
My second dream was way more of a bummer. Good news: Cody and Nina got married! (This is an example of living fast.) Bad news: In my tradition of having terrible, terrible things happen to Cody in my dreams, Nina died (this is an example of dying young. Proves the maxim right I guess.) Apparently it happened fast: I don't even know when they married, but she died of a 106 degree fever while he was on his way up to Bellingham to take care of her. Man apparently my reading of Cody, and I don't think I am that far off, is that that would basically completely destroy Cody. He is a broken shell of a man, rarely eating or sleeping, let alone conversing. When he does, he talks about his wife, Nina-- in the present tense, not the past tense, although sometimes he'll stop and say "--before she passed," which is the saddest thing ever. And it is not like I was having a picnic during this dream either! Usually in a dream I am kind of emotionally distant from anything that happens, and usually when a friend of a friend dies, I say "oh man that's sad" and then just try to console the friend. But I was genuinely grieving for Nina. Huh. I guess that means, um, hey Nina, we're good friends now! That was surprisingly quick.
Man if I die and Nina doesn't grieve, I'm gonna feel like an ass. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
Last night I had a dream where I had one of those bullshitty fifteenth-century haircuts. The ones with the bangs in the front and the shoulder-length back, all poofed out and curled. And I was pissed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|02:54 am] |
my dream last night:
i was on an island that i think was loosely based on the lost island, and it had a doctor on it, but the doctor was played by george clooney, all E.R. style. there was a pirate that if i had to guess, i would guess was based on captain hook, that did something that i was really pissed off at so i decided to kill him. we got a speedboat (my mom was there too,) and i got this tiny old revolver, which was specially modified to shoot just random stuff (buttons, cufflinks, etc.)and which was the only thing that could initially hurt the pirate. HOWEVER, once you hurt him with the tiny gun, you had to switch over to a mini-gun and finish him off. i snuck onto his pirate boat and killed him. i can only describe this experience as Grand Theft Auto-like.
there is way, way too much pop culture in my dreams.
oh yeah, after i thought i had killed him, my mom pointed above me, to a hanging bookself, where there was a tiny version of him. i crushed him between two books and that was that.
what? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2006|01:34 pm] |
in my dream last night, i was watching this dude play pretty much the sweetest instrument ever. it was set up like a keyboard kind of, like on legs and played with your fingers, but it was just this like malleable piece of metal, that you could put depressions in with your fingers and then it would slowly rise back up like memory-foam does. and the sound that came out of it was just, they had a fan or something and wind was rushing past it and going into the holes and whistling.
it was pretty cool as shit.
also, question about ( lost ) |
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